sometimes i wonder if i am as busy as i say i am or if it is some subconscious defense mechanism to put breaks on the things i can accomplish in one day. or if it just stress and i think it's busyness. kind of when you think you feel hungry but really you are thirsty.
does it really matter? no. but i've been floating around like a deflated balloon the last few days and hoping for a stich more energy to get through the day. and i have been getting through. maybe not with the usual chirpiness but i have done it. it reminds me of college, when by the last exam of the semester your energy is on below empty and you really just sit with an open text book in front of you while eating cereal in the morning and hope that by some miracle the knowledge is soaking in without actually reading the book.
neil called today and i told him how i am not very happy that i can't get a discount as a university employee for a class i wanted to take this summer. he said "don't worry, start making a checklist of things you want to do in life. we'll figure out a way to do them".
so i need to start thinking. the first one - i want a full weekend of nothing to do.