Saturday, June 24, 2006
My dad ceased existing when mom left him. For about a year his soul left him and there was just a carcass of a man left walking around. He was devestated. In a way he'd worked for it because for years, before she left him, he had been taking everyting for granted, but still - when I saw him like that, my heart sunk. I stuck by him and let him know that I am there for him. I think that was the turning point in our relationship. He didn't see me just as a little girl but as an adult who loved him. I wonder if the way he was a father, if the way he said harsh words was the only way he knew how to love because that's how he had grown up. My mom kept telling me that he doesn't care that it's all an act but I believed him. I didn't want her to drag her feelings about him in my relationship with him. It pulled my mom and I apart and we are still patching it up but I gained a dad. It's sad their divorce made me closer to my dad but for moments like today, I am glad even about that.