I suppose it's time that I tell the world through this little medium that we are expecting! And I smile from ear to ear when I think about it.
I am 15 and a half weeks now and it's been a really good pregnancy so far. I do get the normal pregnancy symptoms but in a way I am happy about every bout of nausea and craving I get - it means things are going well!
I suppose it's been very different this time around. I don't take anything for granted and I keep my heart a little bit at a distance, just in case. This pregnancy has made me realise how big of a shock losing the last one was. When I finally was ready to tell people at work, I stuttered to make a public announcement in the staff meeting. This was very different than the last time when I had a big bowl of Snickers and Twixes ready to hand out. I keep telling myself that I need to have more faith but my heart is still protecting itself.
It's a quiet happiness. The most surprising thing is that even I, who has never been a baby/kiddie/children type of person, am so excited about having a little one. I peak into strollers that are pushed by me and smile at little babies. I used to be seriously scared of labor and now, when facing it is more real than ever before, I know that I will be fine to get through it.
There are some funny moments as well. My biggest problem is certain smells. The one that sets me off with just a few molecules in the air is Neil's spray deodorant. The poor guy has to go to the other bathroom to put it on and even then I gag because I can pick it up when he walks by. Another time I had to dash to the toilet at work because I opened the dishwasher and the smell of cleaner hit my nose, that was it for the rest of the day. The funniest moment in this pregnancy was the day when I was taking a shower and after getting out I must have smelled something in the soaps and it just hit me like a brick wall. So I was running out of the bathroom to get away from it (still dripping wet) and then having to dash back in to be near toilet where the smell was still in the air.
The only craving I get is for watermelons. I could eat watermelon 3 times a day and it still would not be enough. It's not the worst thing considering that some women crave things like rocks and dirt...
As a woman, it's interesting to watch how I am changing. My skin has aged. I look tired pretty much three hours after I wake up. My belly is very slowly starting to show. Physical exercises get harder and I get out of breath very easily. There are also certain perks. Like my bresteses have reached sizes I didn't know were possible on my body.
The thing that I enjoy the most is this expectation. Our life is going to change forever. I can't wait for it. I have so much love in me that I can't wait to pour into this little one. It is overflowing in me.
It is going to be amazing!