Tuesday, June 05, 2012

Conquering fear

I don't know if I've shared this here but in November, just a month after we moved into this house we were robbed. They stole A LOT.

There are a lot of things about it that were much more difficult than I expected but there were also some really beautiful things that came out.

The biggest thing about it was the shock. I had an eight and a half months bump in front of me, we had just moved in our first family house, we'd had a great day (it was my work's Christmas party) and we arrived into a dark house. I walked in, turned on the lights and noticed a small detail that seemed off - Neil's glasses were not where I remembered them in the morning. Then I looked around and the tv stand looked like a person with all teeth pulled out - there were white wires hanging out but everything was gone. They had taken everything of value (kindly they left kitchen appliances and for some odd reason - speakers). Besides all the electronics, they had dug through the drawers where I keep my underwear and stolen my engagement ring and a diamond neckless that Neil had given me when we first met and a gold ring that my dad gave me four my 30th - things that meant a lot to me.

I don't think I've ever had shock like that in my life. Shock because I totally didn't expect it. It never even crossed my mind that this could happen to us. In fact, to the stupidity of not having house contents insurance... The thought that someone walked through my house, seeing a crib and baby pram and didn't hesitate to steal everything made my stomach turn.

The sweetest thing about it was that as soon as we both realised what has happened, Neil came up to me, took me in his hands and said not to worry, that it will be ok.

The next few days were paralysing in some ways as there was no internet at home because the routers were gone, no TV to put on in the background, no even alarm clock in the bedroom to see what time it is.

The thing that one finds out in the midst of crisis is how good people around are and how loving friends are. Our friends gave us a very generous gift certificate to buy a new computer (we were just to have  a baby and even the computer was gone). Parents gave us some money to buy a new tv and other things. Dear friends gave me some beautiful pearls. The CEO of the company I work for came over with his wife the next day and lent us a tv, my work pooled together a bit of cash and gave it to me with a very sweet poem one of the girls had written.

They found the thief and some of our stuff was returned. A low-life from the next suburb over. We have no idea why he picked us and how he knew to come to our house.

A lot that we lost has been restored. But the thing about that experience that has remained is fear. I find myself a bit jumpy when alone at home. I hear things and they make me uneasy. Our friends have prayed for over this and I thought it would be gone but it is still here.

So this morning I woke up and turned on worship music and blasted the whole house with it. And it made me feel better. It was like fresh air that is disseminating smoke room by room as the sounds filled the house. I know that I need to win this mentally and I know I will, I just need some time.

The poem (written by a girl at work):
In this season of gifts and giving,
We forget that some people don't care
That what you have, you have worked hard for,
And they think only 'life isn't fair'.

So they take things that they have no right to
With no thought for the people they hurt.
They must have no heart and no conscience,
These thieves who are lower than dirt.

Ags, we heard of your troubles,
And we've banded together to find
A gift that we hope reassures you
That most of the world is still kind.

When your family adds a new member
We hope that you also will feel
There are things that we share with each other
That nobody can ever steal.

1 comment:

melissa said...

It's so amazing how worship can change our perspective on things. When we refocus and reconnect with God, it does wonders for calming our fears and changing our perspective. Love you!