Wednesday, January 18, 2006

In the end.

Among my "blessings" posts and pictures of us looking like dorks and stories about me making a fool out of myself, I want to be serious for a moment. I want to stop and savor this taste of happiness in my life.

I think somewhere deep down I am still ready for things to crash and fall apart like they seem to always do and I am activly practicing not fearing tomorrow. I am teaching myself to live in today. To wake up and to thank God for the love I am bathed in, for the friendships I have, for all the beautiful people around me, for all the big and little things I have, even for the things that I wish were different or I wish I had because they are teaching me to apprecite the things that I am dreaming about.

There have been so many times when I have asked God - how could you allow this to happen - because it seemed cruel and cold and at that moment it seemed so far from love, who God says He is. When I look back, I can see where those things that didn't happen have led me to things that are so much better then I could ever dream of or picked for myself.

I think it's true that in the end it all might work out for the best.

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