i remember when i worked full time, i once called my boss and knowing that there is no way i can lie to him about being sick because he always knew better, i just asked if i can take a "mental health day". he laughed and said it was ok.

now i want a job. since we are staying here for hopefully no more than 3 months, i won't start a career type of job. a few days ago i set out with my little resume to the coffee shops and clothing stores and home stores and pretty much everything else in the middle. i had a feeling that after new years it won't be so easy but i believe that if God has meant it to happen, it will come sooner or later.

most of the time the managers looked at me and with suspicion asked why i am applying for a minimum wage job where "i will get bored easily". then i go through the whole thing of explanation of what's what and who's who. and then they say they will get back to me and they don't.

i don't think that i mind even staying at home. i always find something to do, so it's not like i am bored but i am starting to feel that since we don't have anyone to take care of, i could do a little more than just take out of the family budget. since i was about 14, i have never not had a job. in college i had 3 and 4 jobs at a time. and i was the one who supported me. so not having my own salary is almost weird.

we just booked a short trip to rome and we are planning another trip between now and taking off to the oz land. it would be nice to make some extra money. but they don't call back. i hate "popping" by to just check if they have decided to hire me. plus, i feel like i am seriously stepping down and what will people think if i tell them?

why am i worried about it? who cares?

so i go through the whole mental process of telling myself that neil is more than supportive and encouraging and understanding. and that God is still in control of this whole situation so i should just relax. so i spend another day trekking through the house and drinking coffee while skimming blogs and reading books. mostly about God and about things of God and it is so cool to be able to do it during the day. to be able to relax and sleep in. to do laundry and iron my husbands shirts - during the day in the middle of the week.

so i am waiting and trusting that something will come through. and trying to be positive and taking advantage of every day that i can stay home and have a cup of coffee in bed.