I feel like I’ve been fighting roaring lions. I still don’t have a job and at the moment, I have applied to all the jobs I could think of that could be somewhat relevant. There are no more jobs in the paper to apply for and right now there are no interviews to look forward to. We’re on to the sixth week, I do have a good resume and I do interviews really well, I know that I impress them. Honestly, I have been such a good girl, I have worked so hard to find the job. It has been like a full time job itself and I’ve done it with excellence. The employment rate is so high in this country and there are hundreds of jobs that are advertised every week. But I still don’t have a job. I don’t know what is wrong.
All I know is that I really hold on tight and try to nip those thoughts of worthlessness at the bud. I won’t go into details about fighting the feeling of being a loser or double guessing myself and trying to keep the hopes up and making up positive stories and excuses to friends and relatives. It is getting really embarrassing. I lied to one of our neighbours the other day that I had offers. I try to avoid the whole job question - it’s thin waters to tread or I become very watery. The who I am and what I am worth has been the battle ground but I am choosing to stand strong.
I think it is at times like this that faith is really what counts. Right now, I choose to be stubborn and I choose to believe that something good will come my way. It’s not going to be just another job, I am going to like it and I am going to be good at it.