There are times, when after a long day, I am looking forward to when Neil will come home and play with Daniel so that I can finish making dinner and get a couple of things done around the house. But most of the time, like today, I look at the clock and I count down minutes until I see him again, put his little head on my shoulder, smell his fine hair and give him a kiss.
I remember while I was pregnant, I wondered if I will be a good mom. I don't know what makes a 'good' mom but I know that I love him so deeply and unconditionally. Even when he is at his worst, when he looks at me and pinches me and then smiles (where does he learn this stuff?!), I still love him the same. Nothing in the world could change that love that I have for him.
He LOVES his daddy. Absolutely loves his daddy. He squeals when he sees Neil pull in the driveway, he forgets who mommy is when Neil is around. At the same time, I've noticed that if he gets hurt, he looks to me for comfort. Because of that bond I am hesitant to reduce breastfeeding (we've cut it down anyways to the bare minimum). There is something so special about being able to give my baby that feeling of safety, love, content. I am the one who gets to do it. It's really the only card I have in comparison with daddy who is the fun one.
I love watching him sleep. There is something so innocent and vulnerable and cute.
When we go shopping, he usually sits in the baby seat. I love it because he's higher up, he loves it because he feels like he's part of it all and that means that I can look around the shops in peace. To entertain himself, he sometimes grabs things that we pass... I don't mind it, I just take photos :)
We are so blessed to have him. I treasure him, I treasure this time we have together and I don't want him to grow up. I've certainly told him that he's not allowed to move to another country when he grows up...