good thing we have a porch because otherwise i am not sure where R and i would be storing our stuff as we are selling our lives because we will be combining two households into one - otherwise known as getting married. to two different men, of course, not to to each other. me more so than her. she is lucky to be able to stick the stuff that she is not ready to get rid of in her fiance's basement. i am out of luck as every extra pound to ship to the Aussie land is $5. that's the cheap and slow mail.
so i am ruthless. clothes, kitchen stuff, bedroom stuff, art stuff, pier ones and urban outfitters and banana republics, stuff that i paid my last pennies for and that i kept as prized posesions - all of it $5 per pound with slow mail to australia or $1 for things that definetely cost me more than that.
i walk out in the porch and there is my life for the past 9 years, all in a little porch, in boxes, neatly stuffed and stored. it is so familiar and so dear. like the cheap shelves that i spent an afternoon sanding and painting in a color called "blazing red". and it is BLAZING RED - who is gonna buy it?! or the desk that's still standing on 3 feet. it's just handicapped a little. or the tv stand that's been there through thick and thin. and i know i know, eventually i will be bringing out my panasonic tv that that i bought in a garage sale, for probably like $10 and i still want to sell it for $10, maybe $12. the tv was dropped at one point, so if there is ever a face in that left corner, it is impartial to angelina jolie or a mr. bean - they are all green. i bought it that way and it has worked really well for the last..3 years. and now i have to sell it.
part of me is kind of sad. these are not just things, they are actually memories of this town that i have tried so hard to get out of and finally, when i am so close that i can smell it, i am realizing that this has been my years in the desert. i have grown up and matured here. i have fought the battles and learned lessons. my hart has been broken and then found again here. i met the man i will spend the rest of my life with while living here. because i was so bored that i went on the internet where i found him.
on the other hand, with every box i bring out there, this feeling of lightness becomes more and more pronounced in me. i don't have to worry about carring the same stuff from place to place - i am getting rid of it all and it's awesome that way. who knows what spoons we will use to eat out first soup in australia, who knows what we will sleep on or what we will put our tushies on, but i am the least bit concerned about it. because finally, i am getting my next adventure. i am loving it!