i am pretty sure that if you know me personally, you have heard this story told a couple of times. if you don't - you are in for a treat, my friend!
today's topic: bad excuses not to want to date someone - i am the queen of them. when you are single, the whole world conspires to try to set you up with every other single male in the world. which, hey, nothing wrong with that. but suddenly, out of the woodwork there are single brothers and cousins and friends of friends of friends of friends and of course that when they are being described as the most handsome and responsible and men who will be the next nobel prize winners and will find solutions for the world hunger and are made into these super studs that you will regret for the rest of your life if you don't go out with them (you always wonder why they are single if they are so great...).
so there was a co-worker of mine, the most annoying lady in the world. she would come in my office, stick her curious nose in every business of mine, but i tried to be nice and polite to her and so she took upon herself to rescue me from my singleness and set me up with her brother. i don't know what got into me (well actually i do know what got into me - she would never leave me alone, so finally, to get her off my back, and to meet this guy who was made into something of a likeness of a greek god) i agreed to go out for a dinner.
the dinner night comes, he comes to pick me up in his big truck (it's a big deal around here, a truck is kinda like a mercedes in a city) and it's all polished and he is dressed up and wearing COWBOY BOOTS (!!!!!!!! only in south dakota someone would think it's a good idea to wear cowboy boots on the first date) and brings me a red rose and opens and shuts the doors and now we set out for about a half hour drive to the restaurant. and from the beginning of the night i don't have a good feeling about this.
the guy is in the military and that is the only thing he knows to talk about. so after we'd discussed all the movies about the military, all the books about the military and all his stories about the miltary and all the ... oh gosh, i don't know what else but it was about the military and i am the only one drinking because he is trying to be a gentelmen. when i say 'drinking' i mean chugging beers to pass the time a little faster and somehow, after every beer, i become a little merrier and actually start cracking jokes (and laughing at them myself) and i see that he is certainly enjoying this. so finally, we are done with the dinner, we walk outside to the car, i mean truck (keep in mind, we still have a half hour drive home) he turns to me and says "so, what do you want to do now?"
now, at this point i realize that if i have to spend any more time with him, the beer is going to wear out pretty soon and it's going to be a disaster. so in the next few moments i have to come up with a really good excuse to go home. so i say the first thing that comes across, which happens to be "I have to go home and do my laundry".
HAVE TO GO HOME AND DO MY LAUNDRY??!!!! have you heard anything lamer then that??!! i don't know if it was the beer talking or desperation but i have never heard anything that cheesy!
the thing about it is, he never got the point. i had pretty flowers sitting on my desk the next morning and he kept calling until i had to lie to him that i am dating someone else. and even then he tried. so maybe the whole "have to go home and do laundry" actually works :)
now you know that the halo on my head is actually held up by two horns. i am sure of this.