HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!

29 years ago a pretty English lady who was married to a handsome fella started feeling the pains in her belly and at that moment they knew that their little family of three will change forever - the little baby in the belly was ready to meet the world.



His sister's life ended as she knew it once this young gentleman was born. But don't be fooled, she still hugged him and loved him even when and if he was being the little annoying brother who knew no end to mischief.

Who knew but apparently this young man used to eat bugs when he was little.

Not that you could tell it by his sweet little innocent face.

He kept growing and got into lots of troubles that boys get into. This included but was not limited to: going further on the bike than his moma and dad allowed him to, getting excited about sweeties, playing football, scraping knees, picking nose, playing with Leggos, exploring the big world outside the fence.. and lots and lots of others.

He grew up and became a handsome stallion. Tall in stature with golden locks framing his masculine face.

Young maidens were fainting when he walked by them but he knew that the promised one has not yet come along. So he just kept watching his StarTreck and hanging out with his friends.

And then, one day he met this Latvian girl on the internet and thought to himself "Me-ow! Hot mama!"

And he knew that he'd spend his life in agony if he didn't marry her. So he wrote her a whole lot of sappy emails and wooed her and wined her and dined her and got her to totally fall in love with him - head over heals.

And they got married and lived happily ever after. And she got to bake his birthday cake for the rest of his birthdays which come around on July 1 every year!

The end.

Feel free to email him here to wish him a happy birthday (and tell him how wise he is for not letting that Latvian girl get away)

One year ago...

I got an email this morning from the most organised person I know - Neil's mom. The first line said "Well, Well, Kiddley Winks you have now been in Australia a whole year." We didn't even remember this but she knew that exactly one year ago, on June 13 we boarded the plane and took off to seek our new adventure in Australia. This has been an amazing journey.

If I had to describe it just a word, I would say it has been "blessed". The windows of heaven have opened up above our lives and blessings have been pumped in beyond what we could have even dreamed of.

I remember before we came, I was expecting to be stretched a little. And we have been. Of course that there were uncertain times and some low times and hard times. But through them we kept on trucking and trusting and it all has been an amazing journey. Through those difficult and uncertain times God was working behind the scenes and a lot of things have been orchestrated and worked out for good when we didn't even know it.

I have loved this time of my life. With my husband next to me and God's blessings over me - I would never want to change a thing about it.

Since we are on the wedding theme...

An email I found in my mailbox this morning:

Well, today is my wedding day and I thought to myself, "Self, you
should email Ags", so I am. I hope your life in Australia continues to
be blessed. I don't know if I've told you this, but I officially
consider you my "matchmaker". If you had never introduced me to
christianmingle.com (and believe me, I never would have found it on my
own), I would never had met S! Therefore you are DIRECTLY
responsible for this union! How about that?

+++
Is that not the coolest thing ever? I won't disclose his identity but I wanted to post this here because I think it's so encouraging. I am so happy for both of them. He's really one of the nicest guys you'd ever meet and while I have never met his wife, I have heard that she is a wonderful girl. I hope this is an encouragement that anything is possible and while not everyone finds their other half on the internet, the wonderful miracle of meeting them can happen at any moment.

I have to say that I am just a little part in this link that my friend is mentioning. Really, the mother of all christianmingle ismy dear friend, who met her husband on the website, then Neil and I found each other, then F's friend V met her husband from NZ on the site, then this friend met his wife S.

I have to be honest because there have been people along the way who tried it and decided it's not for them, which is cool. I remember it didn't work for me right away either. It took time, common sense and patience to meet Neil. And once I did, I was called "crazy" more than once. But it was all perfect and I know that God's hand was in it. One, because I asked Him to, two, because two people meeting and falling in love while living on two different continents just seems a little... "crazy"...

Releasing the butterflies

This reminded me of weddings and made me think of our wedding.
They say that every little girl dreams of her wedding day. I don't think I ever dreamt of my wedding day. Maybe of the dress and a veil but I don't remember planning a wedding. (Felicia even if you disagree, this is where you keep it quiet) :)

I got a wedding of dreams. I can't even say that it was a wedding of my dreams because I didn't dare to dream anything that beautiful and perfect. It was beyond my dreams.

My groom worked so hard to make all this possible. Whenever I think about it, I smile. I love the way he looks at me in this clip. There is so much love in his whole demeanor. I married the man that is perfect for me. It's amazing how God works these things out. The wait was so worth it.

One year ago...

My precious husband last year around this time....

After 2 weeks in Norway, where we slept in tents, fed ticks, fished, and considered an outhouse a 5 star luxury, we came back and this was stage 2 in the three stage shaving procedure. I still think it's hilerious!

First day at work

Neil went off to work this morning for the firs time in .... 5... 6 months? The Visa is not here yet but he is not getting paid, which means we are not breaking any rules.

It was hard saying good bye to him in the morning. It's noon now, I really miss seeing his smiley face walking through the door and offering to make lunch for everyone. I have the most wonderful husband in the southern hemisphere.

Yesterday I had some conversations with some australians about my design studio name and I think I will stick with the lemon design studio. I might do a little surveying around and see what kind of reactions I get, but overall, I would like to keep it. On the other hand, the green lime studio doesn't sound so bad either. So... I will think about it and will let you know.

Here are the first two jobs I've had
The apartments we are staying in
Formwork company

ONE YEAR!!!!

I have an absolutely amazing husband. He’s caring, he’s attentive, he’s always willing to help, always wanting to listen and to support me in all ways possible. He’s hard working and very gifted in so many areas. I look at the work he does – he’s been with the teams who have built some of the biggest and most impressive structures in London - and I am amazed. I am so blessed that I am the girl who gets to cuddle next to him while watching TV, I am the girl he takes care of and spoils and I think I better stop here before all you ladies get jealous…


Happy anniversary, darling!


On a lighter note, this morning, Neil gave me little presies and a card. As I was opening it, I saw this beautiful card:

As Neil was opening his card from me, it happened to be this card:

So, yes, we were most definetely meant to be togheter!

Wedding Day Memories

My godmother asked me a while ago to write down my memories from our wedding day and to send them to her since she was not able to be there. Here are little excerpts from the things I wrote to her.

· I still smile when I write and remember it all. It was the most amazing day of my life this far.



· That morning all the women met in Neil’s sisters’ room to meet each other and to chat. We had such an amazing time!!! I think it was one of the best ideas I had. All these women who I love and who love me finally met each other. I had been telling them about each other for years and now they were all in the same room! Everyone from my mom and sister to Neil’s family’s women to all my friends. Stories were told, breakfast and coffee was shared, tears were wiped, happy laughter was booming. I loved those moments!



· I remember my dad and I in the room while we were waiting for the ceremony - he was telling me jokes and making me laugh. I think he was a little nervous and was looking at me with a little bit of wonder – his little girl, who used to dance on his feet, is getting married. He gave me hugs and said he was proud of me and that everyone in the family loves Neil.


· I kept looking in the mirror – I WAS WEARING A WEDDING DRESS!!!


· I remember Laura in the room with my dad and I while waiting for the ceremony, she made that day unforgettable – so quiet, so professional, always at the right place at the right time, taking the pictures. I was so thankful to her! And the best part about it was that she was not just a photographer, she was one of my close friends there. She was a person I love and know so well, sharing those intimate moments with me.

· I remember checking the time, it was getting close to 2 pm and I had not heard from anyone, I was wondering if they have forgotten me – the bride. I called the office and asked if anyone will come and get me or if we should go to the ceremony ourselves. The office told me not to worry, that they would not start the ceremony without the bride. OK, so we kept waiting.



· I remember the hot pavement. My feet were bare, Neil and I had decided not to wear our shoes since it was a beach ceremony.

· I knew that they would decorate the beach but had no idea what it would be like. To my sweet surprise there was a heart made of flower petals. It was so beautiful!




· The wind was blowing so strong and Felicia held down my veil. I was so thankful for it.



· I remember the heat that day. Sticky, humid and strong wind to keep it at bay. The heat didn’t bother me one bit. I was so hot but it mattered nothing to me that day.

· I remember how thankful I was to everyone who chipped in and helped with decorations and getting everything settled and done. There is no way I could have done it myself and I was so thankful to Kerry and Lynn and my sister and Rochelle and Vanessa and everyone else who were running around for me and making places beautiful and making sure people were settled in. This included my groom who was taking care of my dad and my mom’s husband and they didn’t speak a language that they could understand. I knew I am marrying the right man when he didn’t make complain about it but was trying to do his best!

· I remember how Tyler, Melissa’s husband was ironing my dad’s shirt in their room because my parents were running late while getting ready.

· I ordered a big hamburger to our room since I had not eaten anything while running around and doing my hair and thinking of decorations and the fact that my parents were in a different resort because of the mistake our resort had made. With my bridal hair done and the veil sitting in it I was eating my hamburger – in a hurry!

· My hair didn’t stay the way it was made and I had to run back to the hairdresser, a sweet Jamaican lady who had to fix it up. She took each strand and curled it with so much care and love! I remember admiring how much effort she put it my hair that day.

· When I was walking down the isle I had no intentions of crying. I had so much peace. All the worries about the weather, people getting there, things being done on time were gone. There was my groom, handsome and smiling. There was my family. There were my friends – it was one of the best days in my life. All I could do was smile from ear to ear and thank God for all the blessings He has poured out on me.

· I had told Neil not to be silly while he kisses me. I have seen men do some … interesting things when they are told they can kiss the bride. Neil took me so gently, he put his arm on my neck and held me with the other one and gave me such a sweet kiss. I still remember that moment.

· When I got to the reception site I was pleasantly surprised myself – I had not put the tables together to decorate them beforehand, so when I saw what Kerry, Lynn and Santa had done I was really pleased!


· We had 4 courses for the dinner but now, neither Neil nor I can remember what we actually ate. The only thing I remember that it was very fancy and delicious.

· The setting for the wedding dinner was magnificent – a sunset over the Caribbean. We got there when the sun was just getting toward the horizon and in the 3 hours we were there the candles were lit and the margins of the terrace were lit up and we were enjoying a soft breeze.



· We had a waiter whose name was Garfield. A young Jamaican man with a huge smile. He was so polite and so sweet. He was wishing us well and taking such a good car of us and the guests.

· I remember I drank red wine the whole night. I am pretty sure my teeth were blue, as were my lips but it didn’t matter. I was so happy!

· But most of all that day will stay in my mind because of the love and care. Everyone was there to support and to love. Everyone had made sacrifices to come to our wedding. Everyone was willing to do anything to help. It was such an awesome feeling!

My groom worked so hard to give me this wedding, I still smile while remembering that week. I am so happy that I married him. I am so glad that God led us together while on two different continents. He is such an amazing man and He is such an amazing God!

Married life: One month and one day

I've been thinking of writing here for a loong looong time now buthave not gotten to it yet. It's 2 days before we are taking off to Europe, we are in Atlanta, at Neils sisters and things are slowly winding down. Well, actually, I think they are just strating to pick up after a month long honeymoon. NOw the real life will start.

We have seriously been in some amazing places and even though it's been a vacation, as always it's been run run run. We spent 2 weeks in Cali - went to the beach, Palm Springs, Universal Studios, drove by the coast, went to Vegas, the Grand Canyon, saw the Hoover Dam, went to the Joshua Tree park, met all Neils relatives living here, then went back to Sd for a couple of days and drove down to Atlanta to bring my car to Neils sister, who ended up buying it from us.

Married life is awesome this far (obviously we are still honeymooning :) I've been thinking about how it's different than I imagined but I suppose it's pretty much what I thought it would be. It's funny that I've been waiting for this and wanting this for such a long time - wondering what's it's going to be like and now it just seems like it's always been that way and it's perfectly normal - it doesn't seem like this big woooohaaaaa - it's just the happiness in the little everyday things. Nothing big needs to happen - I think that's my favorite part. A couple of times I woke up from a dream where I am saying good bye to him at the airport. My favorite part was realizing that there are no more sad good byes at the airport.

The wedding was amazing!!!!!!!!!! Seriously - I am so happy we did it the way we did it. It was the most surreal thing to have all these close friends and family there - in one place having a good time. There was this harmony among everyone - my family LOVED my friends and friends loved each other and everyone still talking about how cool it was. On the other hand it was so sad that not everyone we love so much could be there.

These last few months have been some of the most amazing times in my life. There has been so much love just flooding our way from everybody. I think people should get married just for that reason alone :)

Here you can look at our honeymoon pictures

  

the raw impressions

i have not been at home in the summer time in almost 10 years. the tickets are half the price in the winter time... even though there is beauty in the winter, there is nothing like summer at home.

we camped by the sea for a couple of days, woke up and fell asleep to the sound of waves crashing against the shore, smelled the Baltic sea in the air, were warming our toes on the fire, drinking Latvian beer and playing Sequence, we cooked sausages in fire and ate the fish that dad cought earlier in the day, we fought bugs and napped a lot. even though it was so cold that i never took off my sweatpants and sweatshirts, it was so relaxing.

sharing these memories and places with neil were the best part. he's slowly becoming a part of my history and culture. we're slowly becoming one. i know how hard it is for him to sit there for hours and get short summaries of what the conversations are about but having no clue what people are saying, but he selflessly gave me the gift of being able to be with my people. to talk to them and not having to worry about him pouting and being bored. those are the little moments that add up and the beauty of his heart shines through.

the ripples of my parents divorce are still strong. jamaica will be hard. for all of us. there are parts in both of them that are just torn and will never be the same, no matter how difficult their marriage was. seeing that, made neil and i realize the importance of sticking through it all when it comes to it. it is so hard to see people so close to you wonder around in this darkness that they've created around themselves and trying to get out of it. it made me think of having children. if it hurts so much to see your parents hurt, how does it feel to see your children hurt?

one of the most touching things was visiting my grandmas grave on her birthday. my dad introduced her to Neil. i miss her kindness despite all the circumstances in life. she had a very hard life but she always protected me. she always loved me, she always poured everything she had out and never stopped giving. she never grew tired of loving. i miss her.

my aunt, dad's sister, my grandmas daughter, gave us for wedding a linen table cloth that was made by my great-grandmother. she gave us pictures of great-grandma and grandfather and said that she wishes us the harmony and love that was between them. she said they were the most harmoneous and loving people in our clan. she wished us to live our lives like they did. she also gave us Latvian CDs. there were 5 - for all kinds of different things in life. the middle one was latvian lullubies, it was so heartfelt and thoughtfull.

i got a little reality check through this trip. i feel like i was re-set a little bit. i was reminded of who i am and where i come from. i felt so much love and interest and acceptance from Neil. i felt so much love. i realized that no matter where i go or live in life, no matter how good things will be materially, i will always have roots in latvia. no matter how long i will have lived anywhere else, it will always be home, i can't put in words the feeling that i get there. it's where i am from.

9 years and 3 months later...

Today I got two one-way tickets to London Heathrow for October 25th for me and my husband. I think it is very ironic that I came to the States, lived here for almost 10 years to find a husband from Europe and move back just as I am finally getting my Green Card. We are stepping into the unknown, since we don't know if we will ever be able to come back here to live and work. But I am fine with that. We are starting something together and even though the unknown is a bit scary, it is also really really exciting.

For a few months we will stay in London to save some money and then we'll set the sail for Brisbane, Australia. I am finally moving to a city!!!! Do you know how long I've been talking and dreaming about it? And not just some city but one of the busiest cities in the world! And then we are moving to a different continent! How exciting is that?!

But even if we had chosen to stay in Verm and live off my salary, I would be fine because I would be doing it with my best friend.

last night on my way home from Rochelles shower, I woke Neil up at 4 am his time and in a string of panicky sentences told him that I have no idea how we are going to live withouth measuring cups and blenders and spoons.

see, most people acquire nice things when they get married. for kitchen, for their homes, for bedrooms. we sold everything. down to the hairdryer and beds and cars and steak knives and everything else you can imagine. i am living in a basement turned into a semi storage room (and mind you, am very happy that i have a place to stay) and sleeping on Rochelles bed because mine is sold. Neil is squatting at his parents, we are both pinching pennies so we can splurge when we are finally togheter.

so i panicked, especially when upper class ladies from a prestigious, rich neighbourhood were interviewing me and telling me how insane we are because this is against everything that's a "norm".

and it is. sometimes i get scared. what are we going to eat with the first steak he's going to grill? but then i thought about how i came to the states. with a little suitcase and no money left, but with God's grace I did it. and i would take that over staying at home, in safety, any time. i have suitcases of awesome stories and amazing friends I've made. the only difference now is that this time we will do it together - Neil and I - with God's grace. and after all, worse comes to worse, we have ten fingers and teeth. we'll survive eating the steak.

the history of my cameras

I bought my first ever film SLR camera in NYC. I lived in NJ at the time and one day my friend and I were going to meet in the city, for some reason we didn't meet up (this was pre-cell phone age, it seems so weird!) and I just hung out in the city by myself. What do women do when they are bored, stressed, [insert every other emotion you can imagine here] - they do shopping. Well, maybe I should not generalize things, but I love to shop - especially for bargains. I still have that camera although I don't remember the last time I took pictures with it.

Then I bought a little digital camera. Well, "little" is a very flexible term - at the time it was "little" now it seems like a big clunk, but it's been wonderful! Especially with the $70 four year Best Buy replacement warranty, which, as some of you know, I've taken a full advantage of by ... let's just say "drowning" the camera a few times and getting it replaced. I won't go into details.

When I worked at the Volante, we still used the professional film cameras, which took awesome pictures but were a torture to the photographers and the editors - from reeling the film to developing it to .... but I've had some amazing people to work with in the past. When I was leaving the Volante, they were buying the digital SLRs. I was jealous... Especially when I saw those crisp, colorful images that were taken with those cameras - they were awesome!

Neil and I have made our first major purchase together. Well, ok, I was in the decision making, he was more involved with the finances... but for the sake of the argument let's say that we did it together -- we bought our first digital SLR - Canon Rebel! Partially it's our wedding gift to ourselves, partially, it has been my dream for ever to have one of them, partially, we want to photograph Jamaica, Europe, Thailand, Australia ... hopefuly many more after that... And who knows, maybe I will have a chance to use it to take pictures of people's little babies and engaged couples and ... we'll see what else.

tonight i miss you so terribly, inexpressibly much...

  

there are certain things that remind me of us. like the big windows behind my bed in the downtown apartment i lived last summer. the morning summer sun was so bright there - i used to wake up and first thing to check my email from you, while still in bed. at first it was like 7 am, then it moved to 6:30, then ... then it got embarrasing how early i had no problem hopping out of bed to check email from you.

like damien rice and james blunt and coldplay "x&y" cds. i think it was the second parcel you sent me. i listened to them over and over and over again. and thought that you have a good taste in music. i might have been biased. but i still think it's awesome music.

like "lori's" diner in san fran. do you remember our first shake together? you were so nervous and i thought to myself "if he doesn't relax soon, we'll have some looooong four days". could you have imagined then?

or cheap phone cards. i don't want to expand on this. there have been plenty near accidents i've made while punching in 4968745698546798369857946 digits.

tonight i just miss you. it doesn't get easier, even if i know you'll be here again soon or that we'll be one in three months. i still miss you terribly.

It's been one year

They say that the right person comes when you least expect it. I told everyone I wasn’t expecting, but deep down I was looking. Looking hard and looking everywhere. I was praying harder than ever before in my life.

There might be people who truly don’t want to find the other half or don’t care about finding them right now, but in my experience, they all have quickly changed their minds when that person came along. They were married before me. No matter what we say, we all want to love and to be loved. That’s how we are wired.

I was looking but deep down I had given up. I was getting used to the idea that it exists in movies, in real life it seemed to be translating into hook-ups, indifference, and convenience. I was kind of looking for the best of the worsts. There is still that hope of finding someone but right next to it is fear – what if it never happens to me? What if I never find that person? With every girlfriend who got married and I went to the wedding without a date, that feeling sunk in deeper.

When I finally did things the right way, they fell apart again. At this point I didn’t know where to turn. And that’s when everything turned around. Something changed, I wasn’t trying to impress. I wasn’t beating around the bush anymore. When I met someone I liked, I told them that I am not here to play games, I am looking for someone serious.

It was early in our relationship when I sent him the email that said pretty much that if I am not here to waste anyone’s time – I was looking for a husband. I was more than sure that there won’t be a reply. But there was. He said that he’s looking for the same thing I am.

Yeah right.

He must think I am hot.

But he is persistent, my future husband. And he was serious. I believe he lost his job at the time because he spent so much time emailing me at work. There was something different about him from the beginning – he had time for me. He called when he said he would. Work was never more important. He didn’t so much say what he thinks of me, he showed it. It was never “I will do this if you do that for me”, it was giving, it was king, it was peaceful, it was steady. It wasn’t rushing me, it was understanding, it was honest, even when it wasn’t convenient.

Now, I look at my life before and so wish I hadn’t given myself to all the people who didn’t appreciate, I so wish I had more pure self to give to him. I so wish my heart hadn’t been bent and twisted by all the ones who weren’t serious. I so wish I had more trust in God that the right person will come at the right time.

My life before a year ago seems a lifetime ago.

I have found him. Or maybe he found me. I don’t know who found who, but I know that there is a God who orchestrated somehow a Latvian who lives in the US, meeting a British man, who lives in London.

I never knew how good love is. What you see on tv is a sliver. It is worth the wait, it is worth every time not giving yourself away but patiently waiting. Love is calming, it is exciting, it is peaceful, it is a storm, it is a filling but it is never enough. I have found my home. Complete trust, it is solid. I have found this beautiful person who I think the world of and who I can trust my being and he loves me back. Not because of who I am, not because of what I do for him, just because I am. This love is not going to quit just because the shift is over. It’s here to stay.

If one year has been this good – I can’t wait for our life-time together!

Living in the moment

Brazilian restaurants is what we've been up to! Neil is back in England and Ags has appeared again. We had an awesome week! It seems like the closer it gets to the wedding, the harder it is to say good-byes. It always ends with "Only three and a half months". Which still seems an eternity away.

I've always told myself to enjoy the moment because when the next one comes, no matter how good it is, I'll never be able to go back in the past. So I'm forcing myself do that right now. Enjoying friends, enjoying Vermillion, enjoying my work, enjoying this time because soon it will be over.

  

priorities

we are getting married at the sandals royal caribbean resort. there is diving, snorkling, kayaking, hobie cat boating, waterbiking, canoeing, windsurfing, there are two swim up bars, there are 4 pools and 5 jacuzzis, there is a thai, a jamaican and ocean food and international cuisine restaurants, there is a private island and a dragon boat that takes you there, it is the caribbean, there is sand, blue water and palm trees and everything relaxing. i am telling all this to my dad to excite him about how great of a time he's going to have. his only question to me is "is there any way i can get in the ocean to fish? maybe i'll catch some sharks." he IS a diehard.

 

If my future children look anything like my future husband when he was 4, I am afraid that I will kiss holes in their cheeks. If you are not gagging of all the cutness, more "little neil" pictures on our wedding website.  

in summary

three first class flights because of overbooked airplanes, layovers, 2 hour drive home, i am back. this morning all of it doesn't seem real. just a day ago i was in one of the biggest cities in the world, people buzzing everywhere, foods from all over the world, cars hunking, neils warm hand holding mine. now i am in vermillion, my fish RED is the only one staring back at me through his water tank, which has been taken over by green gunk on the glass.

this trip was all about love. love pouring from every look, word, space, touch, hope, wish, from everywhere we went and everything we did. love everywhere. there was only time for the people closest to us. and those closest didn't have comments about us not REALLY knowing each other, or about things happening so quickly. there were quiet whispers that ended with a little giggle of "you've got a good one there" and there were cheek squeezes and "what a cute boy" and calls from aunts on the other side of the world who said "your mom told us all about her, we would have loved her anyway, because she will be your wife but sounds like she is amazing". love surrounded us and covered us and smiled at us. it bathed us. it was so welcome and needed after the frowns and sarcastic comments we got here, at the beginning.

"this is the time of your life" my mom said during the last dinner we had together. it is not just because we are waiting for our life together to start but because there is this love that pours out of people. everything else seems to have been pushed aside, there was no time left for family quarrels and finger pointings, there were hidden looks, full of love, hugs and "i am so happy for yous". this trip was so relaxing, in so many ways it filled that tank in me that needs acceptance and love.

guess what?!

I AM LEAVING ON FRIDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Not only do I get to see my very handsome Englishman for 10 days but also meet Ma and Pa Middleton and Co, a royal tour of London, given by none other but my future husband, "Rent" on East End, a red carpet reception in Latvia, show off my internet mail-order husband to the family, chat with the US Embassador in Latvia, and do lots of other cool things.